last night i was stuck at the office until 8pm not working but getting documents together for mailing to ex-landlord and lawyer-dad regarding the $2,500 invoice said ex-landlord has stuck my ex-housemates and i with. this made me insanely grumpy. i was like, "grump!" i went grumping along back toward my apartment. a lady on broad street tried to hand me some flyer, and i said, "no thanks." she said, "okay, honey." then her friend across the street said, "did you get one of these from my friend?" i said, "i said no thanks." he said, "okay. you have a lovely smile."
i was like, it's fake.
anyway, back at the apartment, which btw has these very distinctive scents in it: clove cigarette smoke (living room), new zealand mango citrus soap (bathroom), me (bedroom), i was exhausted and wondering what to do with all this grump that was ruining everything, and then i thought, i believe i have got the blues. i was thinking of something i was reading somewhere: you got troubles? i got troubles. i got troubles.
i put on Great Ladies Sing the Blues, this pretty awesome compilation i bought when i was, i dunno, fifteen or sixteen. it's all jazz standards but HOOBOY nina simone! and i just lay on the couch and felt like a transfigured piece of shit.
today i feel better. around 3pm i up and decided to go to fire lotus tomorrow morning, so i called and talked to yukon, who was really nice and amused that since may my address, telephone number, and credit card have all changed. so i'll be getting on a train tomorrow at 5:30am.
i've been fooling around on friendster, having little panic attacks about all the cool people in the world. i feel that the connections feature is inexplicably strange. you can zoom in and out on a kind of random dot-and-line representation of your connections to people, and swing the dots around, and wonder what this means about your relations.
p.s. thanks to wh for the trigonometry assistance!
Friday, September 16, 2005
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2 comments:
Why panic attacks about all the cool people in the world!
good question! two possible answers: (1) i may be afraid that they're cooler than i am, and that that's some kind of problem (2) i can't get to know all of them, and that's some kind of problem.
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