Tuesday, June 28, 2005

krump

the best thing and worst thing about TMN is that the links change every day. means if i want you to check out this sweetass "festival" in vienna, i have to link to it directly. also, those of political persuasions will find this interesting.

anyhoo, i've had rather an emotionally epic week. i'll save you the confessional stuff but will let you know that i went to two parties and had a very inebriated, amused, solo ride on the 42 back from west philly on saturday/sunday at, oh, 3:00 in the morning. and i saw Rize, which is WOW. go see it. i cried in the middle somewhere just because of its intensity. last night after 6" Under alan and i stumbled into one of our life coaching sessions...he's encouraging me to write and was explaining his was of understanding how to write fiction. "you've got to approach it as you write poetry," he said, and then gave me one of the most inspiring compliments of my life: "to read a whole novel in that voice--" he puts his hands on his heart and swooned, "--oh!"

i have been writing: one poem i'm happy with last week, some nebulous prosey stuff, and two journal entries that both ended in ecstasy. even today at lunch i tapped out a lengthy email on religion to wh, walked to minar palace thrilled despite the oppressing air. i'm trying to pay attention to how themes crystallize in my thought, how to usefully characterize my obsessions. i'll take suggestions. i am returning and returning to many memories of my early days, heady miami, deadening tallahassee, where, as i described it last night, i started accruing suffering.

yes, for one, i'd like to write about the end of speculation, a habit i took on in the face of stoney-visaged, though not unloving, protective parents, in the quiet suburb, in the anyhow corner of north florida -- an introverted life and the mystified conviction that everything was much more complicated than it actually was. to survive that -- not just to keep living but to know what one has experienced and to go beyond it -- is what i mean -- the great tectonic shuddering that knowledge and its awareness produces in such a person, the metaphysical frying pan, as i like to call it. the storm! and the calm that follows. it's like krumping.

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